Its been 3 years today that  you went to heaven. I still can't come to believe you are not here with us. my mind will not accept it. my heart no longer beats. i am in such pain and it will  not go away. i am trying so hard to accept your death but i just can not.  everyone has went on having daughter in laws and grandchildren. i am left behind. i have never felt so alone in my life. some days are so hard that i dont know if i will make it but somehow i'm still here. i do not understand how or why you passed away in your sleep. you had just turned 22. you were so healthy. the corner said natural causes. what is natural about that. You had such plans for your future. so smart. so dedacated to god. you lived your life for jesus. this is so hard to understand or comperhend.  I think of you every second of the day. i dream about you every night. they are not good dreams. always  bad. i wonder were you happy.
you were with your younger brother when you passed away. you had spent the day with dr berhoffer and his wife doing land scaping. you had a nice dinner with them and talked about anything and everything. i m sometimes jeolus you were with them your last night herer on earth. they loved you just like you were theres. your brother came and got you around 11pm. you stopped and got a yohoo and went to stay with your brother(corey )for the night. you two played vidio games untill 1 am. you went to bed. the next morning your brother found you gone. we all cant seem to accept you died in your slleep. i know it was peacefull and i should be happy you did not suffer and i am. it is just so hard to comperhend. paula was with me that night before you passed. we even said we should call you of course we just kept on talking with each other and it got to late. i wished i had.  I  am happy you were people who loved you so much like the bernhoffers. they miss you as much as me. your brothers are hanging in there. loosing you has just made our lives a living hell. i miss you so much.

I'm not sure how many times Tommy had to explain to me what a certain thing meant or how something worked. He had an amazing spirit. He made fun of me a lot but it was all in fun and we all had a good time.
I remember pulling the couch out behing the house to watch the Whiteoak baseball games.
I remember going to his father's house to visit him and Grandpa.
I remember that red van being as loud as it could then he finally got it fixed.
I remember his smarts, Lord was he smart!!
He was just an amazing person and is definitely missed by many.

We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find.

Each morning when we awake,
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache
As we try to carry on.

Our hearts still ache with sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.

Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still,

There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.

If tears could make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.

We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.

Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

 

you came into this world 2 months early. you left this world in my eyes ,way too many years early. why, i do not know. 22 is way to young. you found the lord and saw so much good in pepole. i know you are in heaven but i still hurt so bad.